Breathing Room

I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted from my shoulders.  Looking back over the past 10 months I feel like I have been holding my breath.  Now I am able to take a breath and let go of some of the worry I have had.  We had a good, informative appointment with the high risk OB.  He was the same as we remembered and upon entering the room he asked us if we were ready for another one already.  HA!  We were honest with him about wanting to know what the course of action would be if we wanted another biological child and told him outright that if it was guaranteed that I would be on bed rest in the hospital again with another extremely premature baby that we would pursue adoption.  I told him that summer camp at OSF was really not that much fun.  He was honest with us in return and basically laid out his recommendations.  While the doctor could not give us firm answers about the outcome of future pregnancies (he forgot his crystal ball).  Justin and I feel so much better after talking with him and having our questions answered and diagrams drawn.  He was honest about not knowing how long a pregnancy could go for me, but was pretty sure that with the interventions suggested that I could make it much further than 27 weeks.  He was also unable to tell us if I would end up on hospital bed rest again.  I know that no one can tell the future and I have to keep reminding myself that every pregnancy has a certain degree of risk and there are no guarantees of a healthy baby and mom in the end.
I think that I feel so much better because I was constantly wondering and running hypothetical scenarios about what the doctors would do to prolong a pregnancy for me.  Now that I have this information I can let go of some of this tension that goes along with wondering what if.  Any future pregnancies will not be easy relaxed affairs.  He recommended that we wait until Oliver is at least 18 months old because this is when studies have shown that a woman's body has fully recovered from a previous pregnancy and there is a significant decrease in the risk of unforeseen complications such as placental abnormalities.  I will first be seen by the high risk doctors between 6 to 8 weeks and then a Shirodkar cerclage will be placed between 12 to 14 weeks.  This will hopefully keep my cervix closed for the pregnancy.  I will also receive progesterone injections starting at week 16 and will get them every week for the remainder of the pregnancy.  I will have weekly to every other week appointments with the high risk doctors in addition to seeing my regular OB.  He also told us to NEVER take fertility treatments.  Even Clomid which only has a 15% chance of causing twins.  He told us that multiples and I would not work very well.  This was something that we had never thought about, but it made sense since I struggled with only one baby two would be even worse. 
Justin and I will someday have to make a decision about future children, but not right now.  For now we are free to sit back a little and just enjoy watching our little boy grow up and discover the world around him.