I was released from the hospital on Friday. Yippie!! I am hoping and praying that I will get to stay home for a long time, but know that there is a strong possibility that I will have to go back. I am now at the point of viability so things are getting interesting. Now, the possibility of making very hard decisions and having to make them quickly exists. We hope and pray we won't have to make some of them.
The day I was discharged I met one of the social workers who checks in with the women on antepartum. She and I had a really good conversation about the stresses of a high risk pregnancy and the importance of having a good support system. Our conversation got this blog post brewing in my head.
When she asked me about my friends it made me think how different things are between us. Right now I know of several women who are pregnant and we are all due within a few months of each other. A few have had complications in the past but are doing just fine this time around. Most have never experienced a high risk pregnancy, or have only had a minor hiccup in the 40ish weeks of baby baking.
I told the social worker how I cannot really relate to these women, and how they can't really relate to me. We have vastly different experiences. I get somewhat irritated when women discuss their indecision with what color to paint the nursery, or how they are disappointed that they found out the sex of the baby and it isn't what they were hoping for. My discussions focus on when to get the Beta shots for the baby's lung development, at what gestational age would we be okay using the local NICU, and answering questions about contractions, bleeding, and leaking fluid.
I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to only really have to worry about getting the nursery set up and the baby clothes washed. That is not my reality, and sometimes (most times actually) that really sucks. It is so unfortunate that some women are robbed of that bliss of preparing for a new baby. Hopefully, in the future there will be less of us with these types of experiences.
Jean, you and your family are so strong to even attempt dealing with a second high risk pregnancy I couldn't even imagine. I have never had kids and probably never will, so being able to relate to any of it is impossible for me. I pray for you and the health of both you and the little bun in your fragile oven. Take things one day at a time and remain strong and optimistic, as best as you can anyway, God will take care of the rest. He's obviously already on your side!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings with the world. It gives me a completely different perspective, I can say that much.
Nikki
I think the hardest thing after I was hospitalized before (and until) Eliza was born was listening to women taking a healthy pregnancy for granted. Even today almost 6 years later, when I have friends who want to have a water birth in the woods somewhere I am tempted to scream "are you nuts!" It is an awful feeling to be robbed of the blissful ignorance that most pregnant women enjoy. I am keeping you and your baby in my thoughts. And I do hope the next time you see a hospital it is to deliver a nice healthy 40 weeker.
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