History Does Repeat Itself Just In Case You Were Wondering.

So, it has happened again I have been put in the hospital due to my cranky cervix.  The irony is that this is right about the same time I went in with Oliver's pregnancy.  This time there was some warning, but still didn't prevent me from having the ugly cry in the doctor's office.  I was told and shown on the ultrasound that my cervix had funneled to the stitch and that they wanted to keep a close eye on me.  He did let me go home and pack a bag before I had to go in.  This allowed my husband to leave work early to meet me at home and for me to say good bye to my sweet boy.  It was so hard to say good bye to Ollie, I like spending my days with him and he is at such a fun age of curiosity and exploration.
I feel like we are somewhat better prepared for this hospital stay both mentally and physically.  Right now I have the mindset of I have done this once and I can do it again, just a lot longer this time.  I worry about Justin since he is being pulled in three different directions.  We pretty much knew that at some point I would most likely go in, just not this soon.  I do not have the same amount of terror and dread with this one.  I think it helps greatly knowing the staff here and the routine.  Justin knows to ask for a cot right away and to keep it in my room.  He knows what elevators to take and what bathrooms to use. 
Justin stayed overnight the first night to make sure things were okay.  I had to laugh when he came back from the cafeteria once and said "do you think it is strange that I feel kind of at home here?"  I think that only people who have a chronic illness or a medically fragile child will understand his statement.  We spent about a quarter of a year here and got to know all these people who we saw day in and day out.  Many of these people are still working here.  Yesterday, I had three different people who don't work on antepartum, come to my room to visit when they saw Justin walking in the halls.  It is comfortable here, and my time here will be what I make of it.  Yes, it is scary knowing that things are not going in the right direction.  This time however I have the cerclages in and I have waaaaaaay more cervix than last time.  I still have anxiety each and every time I have an ultrasound, ignorance is bliss but knowledge is power.  I know that the more I am prone the less stress on the stitch there is.  So I will wear my leg squeezers and drink my water and think happy full term thoughts.