What About the Fathers?

As I am slowly gestating our second child, I find myself reflecting on my first pregnancy.  Surprisingly, I have not been reliving the traumas, but remembering my feelings of expectations and what was happening in our life at the time.  I remember waiting to hear the heart beat the first time, waiting to feel those first flutters of movement, waiting to get big enough so that people would know I was pregnant.
Lately, I have been thinking more about my husband and how this was all perceived by him.  By the very nature of pregnancy the focus is on the mother and the child.  Fathers can be easily overlooked.  I am guilty of this, it is hard to fully engage with him at the end of a long day when I am past the point of being exhausted and feeling nauseous.  I know that he is feeling stress and pressure from his job.  He is also worried about paying the bills with another little one on the way.  I know that he carries a lot of the fear from Oliver's birth, we both do.  He has never really opened up about what went on during the summer Oliver and I were in the hospital.  When I was in therapy we did discuss what went on to an extent.  He read all the books I read.  While he has never written in a journal, I hope he does find an outlet for all the fear, pain, and uncertainty that we lived with.  I haven't pushed him to open up, because if he isn't ready then what is the point.   
I understand that it can be very painful to revisit those buried emotions, but once you let them out the healing begins. 
So, I guess my point in writing this is to remind us not to forget the fathers.  They need emotional support as much as the mothers.  I think society expects them to be stoic and handle everything that is thrown at them.  These men aren't superhuman even though we would like to think so.  Perhaps NICU's need to have some groups for the fathers to help them through this awful experience.  Having a medically fragile child puts a huge amount of strain and stress on a relationship, and a relationship is not just about the mother.  BOTH partners need support, individually and together. 
So, in this month of prematurity awareness, go and support a father.